Bearstone Blackie, Detective

He's the world's first black bear detective, and he's sure of himself. "I'm not trying to say anything bad about them," Bearstone said, "But if a couple of schlemiels like my cousins Winnie and Paddington can make it by screwing things up, think what a bear detective could do." "Bear detective?" I asked. "Sure," he said. "What did you think, I was going to stand in the park selling balloons to three-year-olds? What kind of smarmy pap would that be?" I shrugged. "See, that's what's wrong with people, especially when it comes to storybook characters," he said. "They take all that Mother Goose and Brothers Grimm stuff and they treat it like it's gospel like that's the way it all went down. They won't even do that for the New York Times." "And somehow, you know differently?" I asked. "Believe me, I'd look into that stuff and get the real info," he said. "A lot of these so-called kids' stories need an adult's oversight." He nonchalantly took a croissant out of a bag from the Hungry Bear Donut Factory and took a bite. He offered a croissant to me. It was a delicious buttery bribe. "Bearstone Blackie, detective," he said. "I represent the Bear With Us Detective Agency in El Bruno."