The Secret Diary of Misty Brown

Misty Brown is a petite black woman – well, ok she's really short and rather voluptuous (not fat!) – who is really rather fond of her second-generation Jamaican heritage, even though she has failed miserably to speak patois (if she tries, people often mistake her for being French). Next to the Jamaican accent, she is in love with the Irish accent and has shamelessly appropriated much of its idioms. She has two delightful children, well they are now, as they have passed that sticky stage. Journey with them as they move from children to adults, who conveniently leave home (although they do seem rather fond of her and will insist on visiting weekly to be fed, extract cuddles, and to use the clothes dryer). She thoroughly embraced the wonderful joys of the divorcee lifestyle… but throws herself into internet dating looking for Mr Right and is delighted when she finds Himself, who is the love of her life and is really rather marvellous in every respect! They are betrothed and still in that lovely mushy love stage … sickening to all who have to witness it! Misty's motto is: I smoke, I eat fatty food, I drink rum and therefore, I am … never knowingly without a cigarette, a glass of Captain Morgan rum and a bag of ready salted crisps. She enjoys herself immensely, gorging on fatty and deliciously sugary foods, delighting in drinking enormous quantities of wine and rum and smoking her 20 a day, as if her life depended on it, which is ironic because, well… you know. Many have had the temerity to suggest that she should give up her wonderful habits, but she has delighted in ignoring them and explaining that she fully intends on arriving in heaven used up and worn out with a beatific grin! Of course, nothing goes to plan and Misty Brown's head-long tilt into true hedonism is dramatically halted. She discovers some hidden depths and comes to the realisation that change isn't always bad….